| Sunday, November 11th, 2007 |
| 11:59 am |
study time
its funny every book i open to study a leaf or two flop out. Watching it glide to the ground makes me miss my love even more, because i picked them for her so she can have a some of the fall that i am enjoying. I wish she was here to see the trees change. Current Mood:  amused |
| Monday, October 29th, 2007 |
| 11:17 pm |
burning passion of the heart
as the my class move on from day in and day out i fell so discombobulated. as there is something missing from me. a part of my that make me who i am. As if i am not complete. Now i i think i know what it is that has been missing from me for so long. One of the things i did when i first came to know Jesus as my Savior was i through out a lto of things till all i had was a bible and a guitar. i played that guitar till my tips of my figure bleed. I did not play songs for other to hear, but i played from my heart pouring every ounce into the string and words. Pure worship. I have not worship like that in a very long long time. I think it is time i pick the guitar back up and the violin too. The violin has been an interment i have been wanting to play since i was a kid. I remember i was so upset that in middle school they did not offer it in band. Maybe since i am here at Purdue i could pick up lessons. I just have a desirer to pure my heart out God through my figures and my voice. To serve Him and worship him, just the thought of it makes me light hearted and gives me goose bumps. Current Mood: excited |
| Sunday, October 28th, 2007 |
| 9:16 am |
happy thoughts
Last night Christine and I had a long talk. nothing bad we just talked for hours =D. It was fun and i really enjoyed it. As i was cooking this morning and fighting off the dogs; i was making blue berry pancakes, I remember on of my happiest memory's from being with Christine. It was the few times that i was able to cook her breakfast at my and hers parents house. It was really nice because when we ate it was early in the morning and we got to watch he sun rise together. we i need to get in the shower and get ready for church. we had are first frost so im thinking of wearing the sweeter that Christine got me. I really love it. Current Mood: cheerful |
| Wednesday, October 10th, 2007 |
| 12:21 am |
one of those days =P
SO my mom asked me to help her out with making a cheese cake for her work tomarrow. After mixing all the ingredients together, as i began to pour the mix into the shell i realized half way that i for got to add the pumpkin mix lol. so i went out bought all the ingredients to make another on except as i put the bag on the table i realized i forgot the pie shell. well to make along story short i was able to salvage the first cheese cake and make a pumpkin on for my moms work. I was able to start making Christine map board, i was able to get some relay nice satleght photos of lake hollinsworth. so i have 1/3d of the board done. it looks really nice. there are three sheets and each sheet is 12in by 18 in. so it will fold out to be 18in by 36in. I based it of one of my map boards i used in training fire missions. this way she can place pieces of lament on it (each piece represent a days worth of data) so she can track the daily movement of her birds. The other nice art about it is that the maps are behind a piece of plexy glass so that way she can wirte on it with a marker, it will even stick in the wright in the rain =P. I hope she likes it. |
| Sunday, September 9th, 2007 |
| 9:10 pm |
indy
when i was a kid i have always loved Indiana Jones. he was one of my childhood heroes, along with Zorro, and batman. I have always wanted a hat like his; a safari fedora, something that would go nice with one of my suits. Some times we never grow up. =D Current Mood: amused |
| Sunday, August 12th, 2007 |
| 12:30 pm |
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| Wednesday, August 8th, 2007 |
| 10:54 pm |
lossing it
To day has been a crappy day. My sis is pushing my patience. I love her but to a point. She decided to day was a day for her to move out of her boy friends house, so I spent most of the day helping her. It was three trailer loads of stuff you would find in a garage sale. My 1st priority on arriving to there house was to get all of my moms stuff back that my sis barrowed but never returned. I was in a so so mode at that time. Once I was there my sis started to bark orders at me to load all her crap up in one load. I stuck with my priorities to get my mom stuff; the presser washer, chain saws, shop vac, tools, ect… towards the end of the day her boy friend did make it home as we were finishing the last trip. However my sis friend that helped her packed packed some of her boy friends stuff up into her stuff, it’s a big gaggle F. so they argued for about an hour. So now she moved in with my mom and I along with here hyper active yappy dog, two cats, and a snake. I think what is really bothering me is seeing how she is treating my mom. How she thinks no mater how much trouble she gets into all ways comes back here and uses my mom. Never saying thank you, or offering to help. She just moves in as if she never left. As if this is another house she can just jump back into. Never taking responsibility, never caring for the people she walks on. I love to help people in there need, some people I do not mind leaving on the curb. Those are the ones that need the hard knocks of life to teach them what life is all about. I don’t pity them because its what they need, I do fill sorry for those that never get it, because they never will. God help me I have no idea what to do. I love my mom and dad, and my brother and sister. However my dad and sis drive me nuts. They do the foolish thing with out thinking, and don’t think with any rationing or logic just with emotion. I feel really sorry for my mom; I give her a lot of kudos for putting up with my sis and dad. I just with there was some way I can help her out. Current Mood:  annoyed |
| Monday, July 30th, 2007 |
| 12:24 am |
Rescue Me
I learned to day something new about my self, that i should be more aware of my self and for those who i love. that i feel at times alive in helping ppl, and that i need to be more careful that i do not risk or put aside the ppl who are most dear to me when i do help other ppl. Because i do get caught up in doing the honorable thing to fulfill my own desire to feel that i am worth something. That there is meaning to my life, and i lived my day with a purpose of rescuing some one else. Now that i think about it, i have been very selfish. Im sorry Pleas forgive me. Current Mood: cheerful |
| Sunday, July 22nd, 2007 |
| 12:00 pm |
my fear
i fear that i will become so pried full and self center and try to show off that i will miss what matters in life. people; my friends, my family, and those who i hold so dear to my heart. this is why i fear leadership position, that i will take the glory meant for God. this is my fear. Current Mood: awake |
| Saturday, July 21st, 2007 |
| 10:22 pm |
message in a bottle
my aunts went to Hilton head this week, they go there ever year except for my grandmother and my aunt Becky. so the other aunts did something relay cool. they got a small plastic bottle wrote a letter in it, added some sand from the beach, a small drink umbrella, and a plastic flip flop and mailed it to my grandmother from Hilton head. i thought that was so cool. |
| 9:19 am |
I did IT!!!!!
i have perfected my Gelato recipe. it is perfect. i made it finally with the perfect amount of creamy constancy, no all i have to do is repeat it two more times in the same condition and record the temperatures of the freezer and then i have finally cracked the recipe. |
| Monday, July 16th, 2007 |
| 11:32 pm |
scabs riped open
Don’t you hate it when a cut has a scab you accidentally brush it against it something that pulls it up. That’s how I felt today when I was unpacking some of my boxes. I came a cross one box that help a small box that was made for me. Apone holding it in my hands my eyes began to mist, and my heart sank. It is a small music box that Christin made for me. It is one of the most cherished things I have that she gave me because she made it from her heart for me. In it I hold the broken key chain from star bucks she bought me, a dried beach rose from Annapolis, the silver promise ring she bought me that I broke because I wore it every were, and the key ring that she had are picture engraved in. These are some of my grates treasures, because some one who loves me gave them to me. No mater the pain, the sorrow, the sing of loss, and the bitterness of lonely ness I will always keep these so that I may always remember better times. I thank Jesus for the time we did have together as a couple. In my heart and mind I wish and pray that we would get back together, but I dared not speak it. Because I love her so that I rather her be happy and I in pain than for her to be married to me in doubt of what she truly wanted. I love her, and I don’t know if I will ever stop. Only God knows, He is the one healing my heart =) Current Mood:  tired |
| Saturday, July 14th, 2007 |
| 11:03 am |
I am addictive to Sleep !!!
mani am so tired of going to bed later and waking up at noon GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR Current Mood: annoyed |
| Friday, July 13th, 2007 |
| 12:11 pm |
i wish i had my camrea handy
ok i was listing to the Joy fm on the net and really enjoying the music. so i could not help but do a little jig for a praise a song. So i turned around and there was skipple in her little bed looking at me with on eyed cocked up, with the look "what are you doing" Current Mood: chipper |
| Sunday, July 8th, 2007 |
| 12:59 am |
good news
For every one that has been praying for my grand mother and my family thank you. my grandmother is doing better now. they found out that what was given here pain was a blood clot in her spleen. the clot came from a atrial fibrillation. i will find out more in th morning. my aunt Becky is still driving and i believe she is about two hours away. my aunt Lissy is staying the night with my grandmother. Thank you again so much =D Current Mood: relieved |
| Saturday, July 7th, 2007 |
| 10:17 pm |
well i got back from the hospital about 40 minuets ago. my grandmother is not doing as well as she was. she is in a lot of pain. the doctors don't think it her heart. the ones who i realty worried about are my aunts. they are sad and close to each other and grandma. my aunt Becky is driving from NY to Indiana. i am prying for her to have a safe drive and that she can stay awake. i am doing well because well i don't know why. i am worried and sadden because grandma is in pain but i have hope that she will be ok. Current Mood: chipper |
| 4:00 pm |
old regrets old wonds healed
As I was u packing my stuff and figuring out what I wanted to keep out and what I wanted to box up; I came across a box I brought back from Afghanistan. I bought 3 of these boxes one for me, my mom and my aunt. In my box I keep a watch my mom got me some cufflinks and a small solid bronze compass that I found in Afghanistan. it looked like a small bronze box until you opened it up. I bought it because it reminded me of my grandfather. What I regret is that when I first moved to Lakeland I was hurting for money, so I sold the compass along with a sextant, and my guitar. It broke me in a way. I was and apart of me still am ashamed. I guess that is why I could not play the guitar again, even after I bought one from my friend Zack. I miss playing the guitar again too. Some times my fingers crave to strum the strings when I hear a praise song I know or I rift I can play. I think I am ready to play again. When I go back to Lakeland in December for Christine’s graduation I want to go to that pawn shop and see if my compass is still there and buy it back. I remember were it is because it was right next to the sushi bar were Christine and I always went to eat on south Florida. its time to get over my foolish fear and self pity and take back what i gave up. Current Mood: chipper |
| Friday, July 6th, 2007 |
| 1:48 am |
a bad night to end a bad day.
well to top things off my sis got into a fight with her boy friend. he kicked her out of his house. i got some of the most important items. i love my sis but i am going to relay hate it if she moves back into this house. when school starts i will move in with my grandmother, because i know i will not have a peace of mind while she stays here. Purdue is one of the best things to happen to me. i am not going to let her screw up my GPA. I want my MA. I will do what i can to help her, but if i have to make a choice between school and helping her move all of her crap( i swear that is what it is, she is a pack rat and keeps all kinds of crap) i pick school. God guide me on what i should do. Current Mood:  sick |
| Thursday, July 5th, 2007 |
| 12:51 pm |
i should have just got a u-hall =0
so i found out how much my move is going to cost. double then what i was told. dam i should have gotten a u-hall and a trailer and towed all my crap up here. now i have to use up the rest of my savings and my emergency medical money just to pay for the dam moving company. NO ONE USE BEKKINS MOVERS. it is way cheaper just to move it your self. no i just going to have to figure out how i am going to pay for any of my bills till school starts. Current Mood: pissed off |
| Wednesday, July 4th, 2007 |
| 10:38 pm |
to frezz time
well my day has been long. we have all most finished the garage. my grandmother went to the hospital, but she is ok. the top vale in her heart was beating faster then the rest of the vales in her heart. we will have more of an idea in the morning. the fire work show was relay nice i found the best spot in the house; my back yard =)  i still would like to know what kind of birdis this is. he was cherping his heart out in the ash tree in my back yard Current Mood: cheerful |
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gadean's journal
